


Cat Burglar

by Sarolonde



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Dorks, Fluff, M/M, Manipulative Cat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-28
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-29 17:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6384868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarolonde/pseuds/Sarolonde
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kei types up an unapologetic flyer titled: <i>Are You Missing Your Underwear?</i> It explains his cat’s thievery and gives his address. He prints a few out and half-heartedly puts them up on his street and at the local store on his way to university.</p>
<p>Basically, Kei’s cat is trying to hook him up with the neighbourhood hottie.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cat Burglar

**Author's Note:**

> For [Rosie](http://vivemarco.tumblr.com/) <3 this was her marvelous idea based on [this post](http://tumblr.tastefullyoffensive.com/post/141322288653/cat-burglar-via-benji#.VvlNcPl96Uk).
> 
> Another loss to me in my perpetual struggle to WRITE SHORT. I may have lost this battle…. and I will certainly lose the war =/
> 
> Thank you so much to the wonderful [nogurt](http://nogurt-p.tumblr.com/) for this adorable and accurate [fanart](http://nogurt-p.tumblr.com/post/143008961685/i-made-a-small-comic-which-is-too-shoujo-im-so)~!

Kei comes home from university to find his seal point Siamese cat, Aladar, looking rather smug. Anyone who has ever owned a cat will know that this is certainly an expression they’re all too capable of making. Aladar’s tail swishes and his bright blue eyes never leave Kei as he takes his shoes off and shrugs out of his coat. Immediately Kei knows what Aladar has been up to and sighs heavily.

In his bedroom, placed on his freshly made bed, are a pair of red, men’s Nike underwear that certainly do not belong to Kei. It’s not the first time. Yesterday it was a single sock – with a cat design that was rather ironic – and the day before that, a pair of Batman print underwear. It’s been a week of this, and sometimes there’s more than one item a day.

Heaving another sigh, Kei sits down on the end of his bed and picks up the underwear, knowing they’re clean – and will adamantly deny smelling the first few garments to check said cleanliness. Aladar must be stealing them off one of his neighbours’ clothes lines. Kei would be happy to give back the pile of underwear and socks he’s accumulated, but, as a less than sociable person, he doesn’t know any of his neighbours. And honestly would prefer never to know them.

He supposes it would be rude to just throw the garments out, especially since it will likely keep happening and this man will surely start running out of underwear and socks.

In the morning Kei types up an unapologetic flyer titled: _Are You Missing Your Underwear?_ It explains his cat’s thievery and gives his address. He prints a few out and half-heartedly puts them up on his street and at the local store on his way to university.

That night, while Kei is sitting at his kitchen table studying, there is a knock on his door. Picking Aladar up from his lap so he can stand, Kei tucks the docile cat under his arm and walks over to the door. He doesn’t get many visitors, especially on week nights, so Kei is fairly certain it must be about the missing underwear.

Opening the door, Kei feels his eyes widen as they land on the man standing on the other side, but he quickly composes himself. He’s attractive; incredibly attractive, breathtakingly attractive. His black hair is a dishevelled mess that suits him, his narrow, dark amber eyes glint even in the dim light and his mouth is curled into a lopsided, mischievous smile. Athletically built, even discernible under his jacket, with broad shoulders and roughly the same height as Kei, he’s… borderline perfect.

“Hey! Uh, hi, you’re the one with my underwear?” the man questions and immediately winces, chuckling as he scratches the back of his neck. “Sorry, that is _not_ what I meant to say. I saw the flyer.”

Kei nods tersely. “Right, I’ll go get your things,” he steps back but pauses and asks, “Do you want to come in?”

“Yeah, sure. I’m Kuroo Tetsurou by the way,” he offers his hand, it’s warm and his grip is surprisingly gentle for its encompassing size around Kei’s slender hand.

“Tsukishima Kei,” he responds simply, stepping out of the way and allowing a cheerfully grinning Kuroo access.

“So this is the cat burglar in question I take it,” Kuroo says as they enter the living room. He pets Aladar – who is still in Kei’s arms – under the chin. Loving the attention, the cat rubs his face against Kuroo’s hand. “Doesn’t seem like the naughty type, but then the quiet ones always secretly are.”

Kuroo glances up at Kei as he says this and it takes every ounce of control Kei has to keep his face straight. _Is he flirting?_

“Aladar,” Kei blurts, for lack of anything else to say. Clearing his throat he explains, “His name is Aladar.”

Kuroo frowns thoughtfully. “Like from ‘Dinosaur’?”

“Yes…” Kei mumbles, amazed. “How did you…?”

“It’s a good movie,” he shrugs, the smirk stretching his lips gives away his amusement. “And you have dinosaur figurines on your bookcase.”

Kei turns to see the traitorous figurines sitting in front of his books. He’s never been embarrassed by them, he’s never cared enough about what people think to care… _Wait, what? Why do I care what Kuroo, a guy I_ just _met, thinks?_

“I like… dinosaurs,” Kei says, failing to keep his voice steady. “I’ll just… Be right back.”

Setting Aladar on the ground, where Kuroo quickly scoops him up, Kei makes his way to his bedroom where the bag of Kuroo’s underwear and socks is. Kei comes back, bag in hand, to find Aladar purring like a motor and snuggling into Kuroo’s chest, getting pale cat hair stuck in the soft black fabric of his sweater. Kei can’t really blame the cat.

“Here.”

“Oh, thanks Tsukishima. I’m actually kind of surprised you didn’t just throw them out, most other people would,” Kuroo comments, rifling through the bag.

“Wouldn’t want the other cat socks of the pairs to get lonely,” Kei jokes dryly, a smirk curling his mouth. “Besides, I figured you’d almost be running out of underwear.”

He grins slyly. “That’s okay, I sometimes go without anyway.”

Kei inhales sharply and for God knows what reason his eyes, of their own damn accord, glance down to Kuroo’s denim clad crotch. Kuroo notices – because it’s probably hard not to notice when you’re face to face with someone – and his smile instantly drops. _He was joking you idiot,_ Kei scolds himself, face burning with heat.

“Uh, it was nice to meet you Kuroo-san,” Kei stutters, almost stumbling over his own feet to get to the door. “I’ll attempt to get Aladar to stop stealing your things.”

“That would be great. Thank you again,” Kuroo says, handing Kei back his cat before scampering out the door, probably embarrassed by Kei’s stupidity.

Closing the door Kei leans back against it and buries his face in his hands, not caring about the greasy finger prints he’s likely leaving on his glasses. A groan is muffled against his palms as Kei slides down the door and Aladar rubs against his elbow.

“This is your fault,” Kei grumbles at the cat, who merely mewls in response.

 

* * *

 

A week later Kei has an even bigger pile of Kuroo’s underwear and socks on his bed. He didn’t even do anything to ‘attempt to get Aladar to stop’, he actually wants Kuroo to come back. Kei doesn’t even feel guilty about the stupidity of it, he feels like he deserves a second chance with the gorgeous bed headed man.

Which is why Kei choses the day that Kuroo comes back, exactly a week after his first visit, to be in a foul mood. He’s had a long day at university, working with some pathetic idiots on a group assignment, and then an even worse evening at work with some painfully difficult customers. So, when he opens the door, there is a scowl embedded in his features.

“Do you wash your clothes in cat nip or something?” Kei snaps at him, which is sure to get him noticed at the very least, noticed as the biggest asshole in existence maybe.

“Woah there, don’t shoot officer!” Kuroo chuckles light-heartedly, his bright grin calming Kei somewhat. “So I am correct in assuming my clothes are, in fact, here and that our cat burglar is still in business?”

Kei grits his teeth, suddenly feeling guilty, and moves to let Kuroo in. “Yes. Aladar is still being the bane of our existence.”

Taking his shoes and jacket off and pardoning his intrusion Kuroo follows in after Kei. Having been happily napping on the sofa, Aladar lifts his head at their entrance and immediately rushes over to Kuroo. Kei frowns in confusion at their familiarity with each other as Kuroo nestles the Siamese against his chest and coos.

“Why are you drying your clothes outside anyway?” Kei questions, his eyes narrowed suspiciously on the man nuzzling Aladar, like he’s a cat himself. “It’s freezing cold.”

“Uh… I’m not,” Kuroo answers, scratching the back of his head awkwardly. “Aladar kinda comes into my house.”

“He _what_?!”

Kuroo chuckles. “Yeah, I leave one of my windows open, because even in winter it can get pretty stuffy at my place, and Aladar kinda just comes through my window. I didn’t notice until this week and we may have cuddled on the sofa watching TV a few times…”

“Oh my God, you’re as bad as the cat,” Kei groans, pushing his glasses up to rub his temples.

“Are you okay?” Kuroo asks, concern in his voice.

“Yeah, just a long day.”

“Shit, sorry, I’ll just…”

“No it’s okay, stay,” Kei mumbles, not really paying much attention to what he’s saying or _who_ he’s saying it to. Not until he’s already said it, that is. Kuroo, neighbour and acquaintance, not someone he can casually ask to stay.

“What?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean… You don’t have to—”

“No, I’d love to. If you’re not busy, that is.”

Kei glances up to see nothing but sincerity in Kuroo’s expression, smiling hopefully with the question hanging between them. He _actually_ wants to stay… Maybe he hadn’t run away from Kei last time, maybe he was just flustered. _Don’t get ahead of yourself, he just wants to hang out._

“N-No, I’m not busy, I was just watching some shitty crime investigation show. The police officers are terrible in it.”

Kuroo raises an eyebrow. “You don’t like cops?”

Kei frowns at the odd question. “Cops are fine. It’s just that in this show, and most crime shows, their forensic processes are all wrong. It’s actually the reason I like watching them, to point out the flaws.”

“Good answer,” Kuroo says, grin having broadened as Kei spoke. “I’m actually a detective, so that could have been awkward.”

“Sounds like you purposefully push people into saying they don’t like the police to make it awkward.”

Kuroo chuckles. “You caught me Tsukki. Only way to gauge how people truly feel.”

“Tsukki…?”

“Ah, sorry, it’s just,” he scratches the back of his neck, “it’s easier than Tsukishima. I can stop.”

“It’s okay, I don’t mind,” Kei answers sincerely, he likes the way Kuroo’s deep voice breathes the nickname. “Come on, we’ll be missing it.”

They walk over to the sofa and Kei is very aware of the mere few inches between them when Kuroo sits closer than expected. His body feels so warm, even with the space, Kei can feel warmth radiating off him. With his tall slender frame Kei is perpetually cold, it would be really nice to lean into Kuroo and share his heat, it would be so easy but it would also probably be weird, so he resists the urge. Aladar snuggles comfortably into Kuroo’s lap, shamelessly taking the heat Kei can’t even ask for because of stupid human propriety.

“So, it’s obvious why I love to pick holes in the crime investigation shows and why I know how to, but why do you know how to?” Kuroo questions, settling comfortably on the sofa.

“I’m studying Forensic Science,” Kei answers simply, seeing Kuroo beaming at him and stubbornly keeping his eyes on the television screen for his own sanity.

“Wow, that’s cool! Maybe one day we’ll be working together.”

Kei only hums a response.

Aladar purrs loudly, contently, and Kei knows exactly how he feels. It’s nice, sitting here, comfortable despite the lingering need to lean into Kuroo that he has to ignore, watching terrible television with him; especially when the discussions about the gaping inconsistencies with the show start. It’s enjoyable, pleasantly so.

 

* * *

 

Three weeks and Aladar apparently refuses to be stopped from stealing Kuroo’s underwear and socks. After getting Kuroo’s number and having hung out with him twice in the last week, no longer needing the excuse to see Kuroo, Kei actually attempted to stop the devious cat. Yet there are even more garments of Kuroo’s wardrobe on his bed this week. Aladar is almost hoarding Kuroo’s underwear and sock draw.

“I’m sorry, Kuroo-san,” Kei says, letting Kuroo in as soon as he sees him at the door. “It’s getting out of hand and I don’t know how to stop him. You should close your window.”

Kuroo gasps playfully. “And leave that beautiful cat out in the cold? I think not! Then who would I cuddle with when I’m watching shitty day time television?”

Kei rolls his eyes. “Right, I forgot that you’re giving your cat burglar motivation to go into your home and steal your things.”

Kuroo beams at him and then glances about the living room. “Where is my furry friend?”

“Probably on my bed with his bounty.”

Striding through the apartment, with an unconventional amount of confidence and ease, Kuroo enters Kei’s room. They’ve gotten closer, become friends at an almost impossible rate by Kei’s standards, but this feels strange, especially considering Kei’s undisclosed feelings for the dark haired man. Kei follows slowly, lingering near the doorway as Kuroo slumps down onto his bed and smiles down at Aladar, his lips curling fondly. In a pile near the Siamese cat are Kuroo’s underwear and socks.

“What are you doing, you cheeky cat?” Kuroo murmurs quietly, stroking a large hand over Aladar’s soft, pale fur. “You’ve stolen so much this week, soon I really will have to go commando.”

“I don’t know why he’s doing it,” Kei mumbles as he inches his way further into his room, it’s more to himself but of course Kuroo hears him.

Kuroo hums thoughtfully. “Hm, maybe… Maybe Aladar _wants_ me here.”

Rich copper eyes flicker up to Kei, gleaming with mischief, but Kuroo’s smile is soft, stretching his lips into something beautiful and affectionate. Kei doesn’t miss the implication of his words or the suggestion in his tone. As Kuroo watches him, sitting on Kei’s bed so comfortably, Kei knows he’s not misreading it anymore, he knows these feelings aren’t one sided.

“Then… Then maybe you should be here more often,” Kei offers tentatively, his heart skittering nervously and knots twisting in his stomach. “For Aladar. You can’t say no to your cuddle companion after all.”

Biting his lip, Kuroo straightens and rises from the bed. His gaze meets Kei’s with an intensity he’s never experienced before as he slowly closes the distance between them.

“Not just for Aladar, he’s not the only one that wants me here,” Kuroo says, swallowing hard as he reaches up to cup Kei’s cheeks. His warm hands are heavenly against Kei’s cold skin, melting him. “Is he Tsukki?”

Heat blooms in his face and he’s not sure whether it’s from Kuroo’s warm hands, thumbs caressing feather soft across his cheekbones, or from the fluster making his heart pound against his ribcage. Kei breathes out, his breath shaky with adrenaline as he works up the courage to respond.

“No,” Kei barely whispers, but they’re so close it doesn’t matter. “I want you here.”

A small, blissful smile curls Kuroo’s lips and Kei’s eyes are drawn to it. His gaze remains there until his eyes flutter closed when Kuroo leans in. It’s so impossibly slow, just a light brush of lips and warm breath against his skin at first as their noses touch softly. But Kuroo tilts his head and presses their lips together, gently sucking at Kei’s bottom lip.

All the warmth Kei knew was is Kuroo’s body is all the warmer pressed against him. Kei’s hands move to Kuroo’s hips and he pulls them closer together, desperately seeking the warmth like he needs it to thaw his frozen limbs. Kuroo gasps at the insistent movement and pulls back to smile at Kei, fond and pleasantly surprised.

“This is probably the weirdest way two people have gotten together,” Kuroo points out. “Your cat is the best wingman.”

“Together?” Kei breathes, the single word promising happiness.

“Uh, yeah, I mean, if that’s what you—?”

“Yes.”

Kei kisses Kuroo hard, the latter all teeth as he grins into it, not that either of them care.

Kei’s arms wrap around Kuroo, he doesn’t ever want to stop kissing him, and he can hear Aladar purring from his throne of underwear and socks, probably smirking at them, like cats do.


End file.
